


here, with you (always)

by laundrymurder



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laundrymurder/pseuds/laundrymurder
Summary: haechan-ah, i always love you. did you know?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 5
Kudos: 206





	here, with you (always)

**Author's Note:**

> for cho :)  
> inspired by that recent markhyuck moment. yea. u know that 1.

_haechan-ah._

the room is dark save for the red from the clock that bathes a portion of the room occasionally. there’s only the hum of the air conditioning in the background, the summer having gotten much too hot to not have it on all the time, and yet, like this, mark’s hands still start to sweat all the same.

like this, being: donghyuck curled into his side, fingers resting on mark’s chest.

he lets out little puffs of air, lips parted haphazardly, heartbeat steady over mark’s own erratic one.

after years of dating, mark doesn’t understand why it still feels like he’s looking at donghyuck for the first time what with the clammy hands and traitorous, traitorous heart and how his head spins when donghyuck rests his chin on the back of mark’s hand just because he can.

but he supposes, it’s just that there’s a sort of magic to donghyuck and everything he does.

the red glow appears; it should make donghyuck look ugly, light casted at the most unflattering angle possible. it should have made him look at least a little bit ugly.

instead, the light casts perfectly over the collection of moles on his face, and mark wants to kiss each one of them until he does that - _thing_.

(“mark- _hyung_ ,” he whines, hands pushing at mark’s shoulders with little intent to actually drive him away. “you’re so cheesy right now. it’s repulsive.”

mark catches it, then: the way donghyuck’s cheeks dust pink, slow as the color spreads to the tip of his nose. he smiles instead and has to physically fight the urge to kiss the younger’s nose.

“i think i’m allowed to be a little repulsive with my boyfriend.” mark presses a last kiss to the last mole on donghyuck’s face, lets his lips linger for good measure. “don’t you think so, donghyuck-ah?”

sure enough, once donghyuck’s gotten over the embarrassment and his rapid heartbeat, he smacks mark’s hands away from his face and hides his face in the latter’s neck.

“you’re stupid,” he mutters into mark’s skin, followed by a softer, half-hearted, “i hate you.”

mark holds him by the waist, the other hand caressing the shell of donghyuck’s ear, turns to press a kiss to his temple and sighs with eyes closed, “and i love you.”

donghyuck’s hands curl at the hem of mark’s shirt.)

the light turns off, and the red is replaced by another glow, even in the dark of the night. 

mark brings a hand up to trace the moles on donghyuck’s cheek, stops at the one right below his eye - his favorite to kiss. 

(sometimes, when donghyuck cries, he doesn’t let mark hold him. there’s a sinking feeling that mark never gets used to when he has to watch donghyuck crumble alone, arms wrapped around himself as he shakes and shakes with sobs.

sometimes —

“i’m here,” is all mark can whisper into the space between him and donghyuck, can press onto the spaces between his knuckles when they’re not otherwise occupied by his own fingers, can kiss to the mole right under his eye, skin salty from the tears, all he can say as donghyuck falls asleep crying, seated on his lap. and it’s enough. it’s enough, mark decides, whenever donghyuck wakes up in his arms, cheeks stained with tears that do nothing to hide the way he still glows, even like this. it’s enough. but at those times, mark holds donghyuck just a little bit longer.)

at the touch, donghyuck stirs in his sleep, eyebrows twitching into a frown. mark pulls away, hand kept close to donghyuck’s face nonetheless.

as he blinks away the sleep and the harsh of the red light, mark hopes the other doesn’t hear the way his heart rate picks up at the softness with which donghyuck wakes up. he’d never hear the end of it from donghyuck (and chenle, jaemin, and renjun).

“y’still up?” donghyuck slurs, moving his head further upwards until it rests on mark’s collarbone. 

“yeah.”

donghyuck hums, eyes still closed. “what’re you thinkin’ about?”

“a lot,” mark sighs, and it’s true. he takes donghyuck’s hand on his chest and fits his fingers between the spaces.

donghyuck opens his eyes at that, a real frown gracing his features now. he gives mark a long look, and it’s familiar; mark knows that look. it’s the, _stop overthinking, mark lee_ look. he’s seen it far too many times to count, since overthinking’s been pretty much mark’s sport nowadays.

“well, with all that thinking you’re doing,” donghyuck starts, settles back into mark’s warmth and it should be ridiculous just how easily they fit as donghyuck mutters into his shirt, “you better hope you look good with grey hair, mark lee.”

mark laughs, sounding much too loud for a small room. “i already know i do.”

donghyuck scoffs. “don’t get cocky.”

“it’s only because i saw the way you looked at me when they _did_ dye it grey.”

there’s a short silence that follows that tells mark he’s already won this small banter. then, softly, “dammit, jaehyun-hyung.”

mark only chuckles, head turning to kiss the crown of donghyuck’s hair as he lets the other play with his hand.

_haechan-ah—_

“hey.”

there’s something stuck on his mind that seems to take up a physical form in his throat. mark knows what it is – god, he’s already said it so many times, thought about it a thousand times more – but for some reason it chokes him up now and keeps his heart beating entirely too fast to be considered healthy.

donghyuck looks up at him as the light returns, makes donghyuck look all too much like a dream again in red. his eyes are puffy with sleep yet still looking right at mark as a quiet, _hm?_ slips from his lips and mark –

he doesn’t think he ever stood a chance, anyway.

_haechan-ah. haechan-ah—_

_i always love you._

in the end, mark never gets to say anything; only lets himself stare at donghyuck, who stares right back.

and, like all other times before, donghyuck’s mouth spreads into a small smile, something meant for only mark to see because only mark will know.

and he does, if the way he huffs out a short laugh is anything to go by.

“hey.” mark repeats. means: _i always love you._

donghyuck rests his chin on mark’s chest, smile unwavering as he says, “hey, you.” means: _i know._

means: _me too._

///

- _2014_ -

mark sees red.

the new trainee has gotten on his last nerve as if he isn’t almost a whole year younger than mark. what’s worse is how the older ones - particularly taeyong, johnny, and jaehyun - practically _fawn_ over donghyuck like he could do no wrong when that’s really all he’s done to mark for the past week.

at this point, mark, in all his fourteen years of life, swears he’s never felt anger like this before. it’s an ugly and odd feeling that he wants and tries to quell.

there’s a knock on the door behind him as he packs his clothes at the dorm, mumbles something incoherent. the door creaks as it opens slowly, and mark half expects to see taeyong watch over him, amused, makes mark unpack enough clothes for a three-day sleepover.

instead, the source of his wrath for the past week, maybe _month_ , is the one who comes knocking at his door in the form of too baggy clothes and a curly head of hair, iPod in hand.

“what do you want,” mark spits, back turned to donghyuck as he keeps packing for even more days at just the sight of him.

“um,” the boy says, “i just - i…” he trails off, eyes going everywhere except at even _just_ the general vicinity of mark, clutching onto his iPod as if mark would rip it off his hands. mark gives him a once over, sees the poor boy tremble and decides to let him breathe.

he stops stuffing more and more clothes into his bag out of spite and drags himself towards the younger in front of him. when he gets there, his gaze meets large eyes looking up at him with tears threatening to spill at any given moment; he feels his demeanor soften.

“i - i’m—” donghyuck struggles to speak, as though one more word would set off the onset of tears.

it should be funny, the way the boy’s snot runs down before his tears do. but he figures he should save the memory to laugh at for later instead of now (—which he does end up doing, much, much later).

for now: mark covers a fist with his long sleeve, reaching up to wipe at the tears that have gathered by his eyes. donghyuck lets him, although he’d hiccuped as mark started to raise his hand, and relaxes into the touch.

later, mark will share an earphone with donghyuck, their backs against the wall beside mark’s bed and he’ll wonder how it’s possible to have a quiet moment with the younger after all.

much later, donghyuck will admit that he didn’t know how to approach mark to befriend him and mark will laugh about it, at the pout that forms on donghyuck’s face.

and much later than that, as later as years after, they will share an earphone again, less to do with childish bickering and more to do with — well, _more_. so to speak.

_thank you for always staying by my side._

for now: “what kind of songs do you listen to?”

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/02mkl)  
> my eyes were otw to closing hence the rushed ending but i hope u liked ( ；∀；)  
> comments and kudos are v much appreciated! thank u ^^


End file.
